Complicated

Here comes to the end of my December's holiday, in between, something happened. Something which made my mood and my heart became more complicated. Something which i dun know how to solve. Something which i dun dare to predict. Something which turn me into the darkness.

I do wish that everything never happen and there's no up and down time in my life. Hopefully i can have a better 2009. Hopefully everything is going to be alright. Hopefully i can continue to survive well......

狮子座

狮子座人永远如这个世界舞台的主角，占据最惹眼的位置，流露最灿烂的光芒。然而当剧场谢幕，灿烂煞然消逝——狮子低下了头，只留给自己不为人知的怅然与沧桑……

狮子座是由太阳神阿波罗所管理，所以本他身上处处显露阳光、热情、自信、大方都是他的特质。而且天仕的领导才能令他喜欢指挥别人和有强大的组织能力，不过过份自信变成自大，加上固执的性格，反应夸张，有时令人不知如何与他相处。喜欢成为焦点人物的狮子座，都有脆弱之时；因为他们太在乎别人对他的看法，往往因此而不快乐；不肯认输的个性，也是令自己不愉快的泉源。

狮子座总是很喜欢自己凌驾于万人之上的感觉，那种感觉一旦不在就会觉得浑身难受，那不是想在别人面前的炫耀，而是想找到自己心里一直都有的平衡，按照他们心里的感受他们很想大发脾气，但是情形不容许他们发脾气的时候他们往往就会变得很忧郁，强颜欢笑，郁郁寡欢。

灰姑娘的爱情对于狮子来说是没有吸引力的，他们的爱情里匹配观念很强，也不容易推陈出新，而是喜欢遵从英雄美人的传统印象进行配对。因此，狮子渴望的爱看起来更像是一副风景画，它强调对称的美感，却很容易忽略内在的交流。当然，一匹战马和一个美人，战马也许更懂英雄，但英雄会毫不犹豫的选择美人。

狮子心里也有一道软肋，柔弱而敏感的神经，让他们在自认为遇到危险的时候，就杨起爪子，竖起毛来准备对抗在外人。看来，你的恋爱好像都是你处于上风吧(尤其女狮，一副唯我独尊的神情)，对方全听你的好不威风，但又有多少人知，其实依赖对方的是你，最害怕失去对方的也是你。

狮子对人的喜厄表现的非常直接，除非是那种不能得罪的人，要不，狮子对朋友就是热情如火，而对敌人，是想法打击不让他有翻身的机会。这和蝎子的报复心不同，狮子会用正大光明的手段，在很多人面前打击你一下。报复完了以后，就早抛到脑后去了，因为他们的事情看上去太多了。

狮子的一个性格，就是怕寂寞，怕寂寞不是不能承受寂寞，狮子们是很享受难得的寂寞的，但是在狮子心里装着很多放不下的事情，所以，他们希望他们放不下的人，也能经常关心他，他放不下的事情，总是能够有好的结果。所以，不要让狮子一个人呆在寂寞中脑子乱想，一旦他们思路理清，或者打算放弃，那时候你用十辆牛车都是拉不回来的。

狮子的心是软的，你假装若者，在狮狮们面前一哭，二闹，三可怜，狮狮估计就吃不消了，马上又心软了。谁叫你触动了他们那一点点悲剧情怀呢！！！ 　

Christmas Eve @ 2008

This year's christmas's eve quite special, we didnt go for countdown, we didnt go to crowded places. Just had a simple dinner @ Sakae at KLCC. Tonight's dinner not really tasty. Somemore no much choices also. The shushi still ok a bit but not the best.

We only shopped while at KLCC, didnt buy anything also...Too many people tonight, even wan to try shoes/clothes also has to queue for quite sometime. Thus, we just walked around after dinner then back home. Dear, thanks for coming back and had a dinner together ya. Though we dun hv much time to spend together tonigt but i felt satisfied already.

Still got another 40 minutes to Christmas Day. I cant tahan till that time to wish everyone Merry Christmas lo..Didnt sleep last night, felt so sleepy now. Hopefully i can have a nice sleep tonight.

Wish everyone MERRY CHRISTMAS ya!!!

Works...

Recently quite tight with the works...feel like getting more and more things to do now. Dun know it's a good things or bad things. When there is nothing to do, feel boring and sleepy pula. Once got lots of things to do, feel tired and seems like no enough time for me to use though everyday stay also.

Another day to go then I can start on leave jor….have to tahan till last minute so that I can go on leave peacefully. I have to start to pray now, hopefully everything is going fine and smooth for tomorrow’s testing.

“Prubase ar prubase….please be strong and smart ar….Dun let me hit any stones again!!! If u fail, means im in trouble ler….I need to look at you everyday, need to touch you everyday also ler. I think u also dun wan to see me complain about you everyday rite?? U also will get bored with my complaining rite?? SO so so…please please爭氣一點……Dun make me headache again!!!”

Hopefully U can hear me and let me to complete my task tomorrow smoothly ar….:> Times to stop here and take bath lo…….

Happiness~~~

Happiness is like perfume, you can't pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

Love has its own time, season and own reasons! You can't ask it to stay, you can only embrace it as it comes and be glad that for a moment in your life it was yours!

True love doesn't have a happy ending. That's because true love doesn't have an ending. A heart truly in love never loses hope but always believes in the promise of love, no matter how long the time and how far the distance.
As long as we have memories, yesterday remains, as long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have friendship, each day is never a waste.

Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, but you know they are there. Have great hopes and dare to go all out for them. Have great dreams and dare to live them. Have tremendous expectations and believe in them.
The recipe of friendship:
1 cup of sharing
2 cups of caring
1 cup of forgiveness and hugs of tenderness
Mix all these together to make friends forever.

~ Treasure everything we have now and work on it~

Last night!

Last night, I made a dream
Only you and me!
We were in an unknown town.
There's few small stalls selling different things.
The place seems unfamiliar to us.
We walked along the way and chit chatted.
Along the way,we talked non stop.
You hold my hand tight.
You hug me warmly.
You care me much.
You treat me like a princess.
I felt so secure, happy and comfortable.
After that, dun know how we walked till seaside
we just stayed while then find our way back to the town.
It was raining, we lost our way,
we ran non stop till we saw the taxi stand.
Only few taxi there, no chance for us to take a ride.
Then we saw one woman with few youngsters walked toward us and ask us where are we heading to....

" Wake me up, wake me up......." Gosh...alarm is ringing!
And that's the end of my dream and I hope it will never ends...

Dreaming of you - by Selena

“Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up late and think of you
and I wish on a star
That somewhere you are thinking of me too
'Cause i'm dreaming of you tonight
till tomorrow i'll be holding you tight
and there's nowhere in the world i'd rather be
Than here in my room dreaming about you and me
wonder if you ever see me
and I wonder if you know i'm there
If u looked in my eyes would you see what's inside
Would you even care
I just wana hold you close but so far
All I have are dreams of you
So I wait for the day and the courage to say
How much I love you
I’ll be dreaming of you tonight
‘Till tomorrow I will be holding you tight
And there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be
Than here in my rooms dreaming about you n me
I cant stop dreaming of you
I cant stop dreaming
I cant stop dreaming of you
Late at night when all the world is sleeping
I stay up late and think of you
And I still cant believe
That you came up to me and said
I love you
I Love you too
I’ll be dreaming with you tonight
Till tomorrow and for all of my life
And there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be
Than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly
With you tonight
And there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be
Than here in my room dreaming with you endlessly"

By Lune

生命列車

人生一世，就好比是一次搭車旅行，要经歷無数次上車、下車; 時常有事故發生; 有時是意外驚喜，有時却是刻骨铭心的悲傷…… 降生人世，我們就坐上了生命列車。我們以為我們最先見到的那兩個人------我們的父母，會在人生旅途中一直陪伴着我們。很遺憾，事實並非如此。

他們會在某個車站下車，留下我們，孤獨無助。他們的愛、他們的情、他們不可替代的陪伴，再也無法尋找。盡管如此，還會有其他人。他們當中的一些人，將對我們有著特殊的意義。 他們之中有我們的兄弟姐妹, 有我們的親朋好友。我們還將會體驗千古不朽的愛情故事。坐同一班車的人當中，有的輕鬆旅行。有的却帶着深深的悲哀… … 還有的,在列車上四處奔忙，随時準備幫助有需要的人… … 很多人下車後，其他旅客對他們的回憶歷久彌新… …

但是，也有一些人，當他們離開座位時，却没有人察覺。有時候，對你來說情深義重的旅伴却坐到了另一節車廂。你只得遠離他，繼續你的旅程。當然，在旅途中，你也可以摇摇晃晃地穿過自己的車廂，去别的車廂找他.可惜, 你再也無法坐在他身旁，因為這個位置已經讓别人给占了...没關係。旅途充滿挑戰、夢想、希望、離别… … 就是不能回頭。

因此，尽量使旅途愉快吧！善待旅途上遇見的所有旅客，找出人們身上的閃光點。永遠記住，在某一段旅程中，有人會猶豫徬徨，因為我們自己也會猶豫徬徨。我們要理解他人，因為我們需要他人的理解。生命之謎就是：

我們在什麽地方下車？

坐在身旁的伴侣在什麽地方下車？

我們的朋友在什麽地方下車？

我們無法知曉… …
我時常這樣想想：
到我該下車的時候，我會留戀嗎？
我想我還是會的。

和我的朋友分離，我會痛苦。
我執著地希望在我們大家都要到達的那個终點站，我們還会相聚… …

Lost my way~~~~

what a bored day,nothing to do sitting in the office. Lazy to access net, lazy to talk, lazy to move around, lazy to work....Continuously one whole week, not mood to do things, cant sleep well at night, dun even feel like wan to talk!

How i wish i could just stay alone there and doing nothing...Dun care about the "outside's world"....
Starring at the star at night and stop my brain from functioning.....
Just lay down on the sand and look at the sky....
Having a glass of wine and listen to classic music....
Sounds great uh?

BUT! Its too bad, life still continue on, i still have to face the fact---> work,eat,sleep, think and meet ppl.

Yesterday, I told guat guat that i cant slept well for this whole week,everynight when the time reach 2.45am sure i will wake up automatically. She asked:"Is it u think too much? too stress?? Too free?? Lack of exercise???Miss your bf??Having trouble with ur bf?? Think of ur ex and etc?? My answer is NO. Im fine with my bf. I din think too much and i got exercise every day also (walk to LRT) :>...

Since when, I'm in the depression. Most of the time, my brain is blank= stop functioning....The feeling of uncertainty, scared, nervous appeared one by one.

The day is early and yet so far.....

Today reached home earlier than usual ,felt very happy cause finally i can left office on time. Along the way, i talked very less, no heart to listen to their dialogues and my mind keeps on appearing something.....

Something which seems impossible to me,
Something which seems making me become crazy,
Something which seems making me become weaker,
Something which seems making my heartbeat getting fast and fast,
Something which seems making my courage getting less and less....

I'm afraid one day i will lose it,
I'm afraid one day i cant take/accept it,
I'm afraid one day i'm not what i'm....

God, pls lead me to what im supposing to , so that i can live bravely..........

記憶的抽屜

每一個人心理都有抽屜
有些回憶拿出來的時候覺得很幸福，
一不小心，也會翻到很痛很痛的地方。
因為太痛了，
努力裝做沒看見那段回憶。。。

在我的抽屜里收蕆了好多不同的記憶
我已記不起有哪幾段是幸福的，難忘的，開心的， 悲傷的，無里頭的。。。
感謝那些曾經帶給我幸福，難忘，開心，悲傷，無里頭的回憶，
因為有你們我的生命里多了色彩，也讓我從此學會了爱着、乐着、痛着。。。

痛的回億難免會讓人想忘記，不想再去觸碰，
可是倘若你沒經歷過又如何懂得痛的感覺，更珍惜呢？

好想讓自己淋一場雨噢！

在乘搭地鐵往回家的路途中, 突然覺得肩膀變得承重了, 心情變壞了, 開始憂傷了！
是我想多了嗎？
是我累壞了嗎？
是煩惱多了嗎？
是擔子重了嗎？
還是心理作用呢？
好想讓自己痛快的淋一場雨噢!希望這一場雨能;
帶走我的憂傷,
沖走我的煩惱,
淋走我的不清醒,
奪走我的胡思亂想,
好讓我能忘卻現在的憂傷，在次的快樂起來。。。。。。